Thursday, 28 April 2011

She falls into sin time after time, and she thinks that her fiancé is the cause of that

I want to repent from some sins, but I cannot. Every time I intend to repent and regret what I have done, I go back to it again. My fiancé is the cause of these sins. Every time he promises me that he will help me to repent, but to no avail. I do not know what to do. Please note that I wear Islamic hijab. Should I cancel my engagement or what should I do? Please note that my wedding will be in a few months time, and I love him very much and he loves me.

Praise be to Allaah.


We ask Allaah to guide you and your fiancé, and to bless you
by enabling you to repent sincerely and do righteous deeds, and to join you
together in a righteous family that honours the rights of Allaah, obeying
His laws and practising His religion. 


From what we can see from your question, we think that you
love goodness and hate evil. Among the signs of that is the fact that you
wear shar’i hijab, and you feel bad about returning to sin after repenting
from it.  

The matter has nothing to do with another person whom we
blame for not helping us to obey Allaah or helping us to refrain from sin,
rather it all has to do with the individual and his self that is inclined
towards evil and his response to the temptations of the shaytaan. We want
you to set yourself straight and that will be a cause of your husband being
set straight and even your children. 

What you are suggesting of cancelling the engagement is not
the solution, because you are in love with him and he is in love with you. 

If you cancel the engagement, will your situation before
Allaah be any better? If the answer is yes, then why isn’t that the case
now? You are not married yet, so you can combine sincere repentance and
marrying the one you love if you truly return to your religious commitment. 


You should note that it is obligatory to repent from sin
immediately according to scholarly consensus. Allaah says (interpretation of
the meaning): 

“O you who believe! Turn to Allaah with sincere
repentance! It may be that your Lord will expiate from you your sins, and
admit you into Gardens under which rivers flow (Paradise)”

[al-Tahreem 66:8] 

True repentance has to do with past, present and future. As
for the past, it is regret for what you have done. As for the present, it is
giving up the sin immediately. As for the future, it is resolving never to
return to it. 

Al-Shanqeeti (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:  

True repentance is sincere repentance, which includes its
three essential parts in the correct manner: giving up the sin if he was
still committing it; regretting what he has done that went against the
commands of his Lord; and intending never to go back to disobeying Allaah.
End quote. 

Adwa’ al-Bayaan (6/206) 


If a person repents sincerely, then he wakens and the
shaytaan causes him to slip and sin again, that does not cancel out his
previous repentance, but he has to repent again from the new sin, and so on;
every time he sins again, he must repent again. 

Al-Shanqeeti (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 

It seems from the words of the scholars that if a person
repents sincerely, and Allaah expiates his sins by means of this sincere
repentance, then he returns to that sin again, his first repentance that was
done in the required manner is not invalidated by the return to sin, rather
he must repent anew for his new sin, unlike those who say that his return to
sin cancels out his first repentance. End quote. 

Adwa’ al-Bayaan (6/206) 

He should not forego repenting and praying for forgiveness
every time he falls into sin, rather the shaytaan would like to gain victory
over the sinner in this manner, until his sins accumulate and he despairs of
the mercy of Allaah by failing to repent and seek forgiveness. 

Ibn Rajab al-Hanbali (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 

It was said to al-Hasan al-Basri: Shouldn’t one of us feel
too shy before his Lord to ask for forgiveness of his sins then do them
again, then ask for forgiveness then do them again? He said: The shaytaan
would love to gain victory over you in this manner. Do not ever get bored of
asking for forgiveness. 

Jaami’ al-‘Uloom al- Hikam

Ibn Rajab al-Hanbali narrated that ‘Umar ibn ‘Abd al-‘Azeez
(may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 

O people, whoever has committed sin, let him ask Allaah for
forgiveness and repent. If he does it again, let him ask Allaah for
forgiveness and repent, and if he does it again, let him ask Allaah for
forgiveness and repent. Sins are like a yoke on the neck of a man, and doom
lies in persisting. 

Then Ibn Rajab said: What this means is that a person will
inevitably commit whatever sins have been decreed for him, as the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The son of Adam’s
share of zina has been decreed for him and he will inevitably do it.” But
Allaah has given each person a way out from whatever sins he commits, and
erases it by means of repentance and prayers for forgiveness. If he does
that he will rid himself of the evil of sin, but if he persists in sin he
will be doomed. End quote. 

Jaami’ al-‘Uloom al-Hikam


Our advice to you and your fiancé is to be in the state that
Allaah loves, so you should advise him of what we have told you, which is
that repentance is essential and it must be sincere. You should both realize
that life is short and no one knows when he will meet his Lord, so he should
be keen to do acts of worship and obedience and to avoid evil deeds, before
the time of regret comes to him, when he cannot delay his death for a moment
and he cannot return to this world once he has died and his time has ended. 

You have to cooperate in doing good and resolve to give up
sin. Spend your time in remembering Allaah (dhikr) and always recite the
dhikrs for morning and evening, and perform naafil prayers and say du’aa’.
Beware of having any sins, music, mixing or other evils in your wedding, for
these are things that anger the Lord. 

We ask Allaah to bless you and to join you together in good,
and we ask Him to help you to do that which pleases Him. 


If your sin is that which happens between a man and his
fiancée of overstepping the mark, then our advice to you is to hasten to get
married, so that you will be his wife, and then it will be permissible for
you to do that which a man does with his wife, and a woman with her

And Allaah knows best

From learning Quran online Blog

And important note that we want to discuss and share with you it is about Quran reading and doing Quran recitation online to understand it, Ramadan is the month when the beautiful the Holy Quran has been revealed.  A miracle by the creator of the worlds, Allah (SWT)  Should we not glorify him by reading quran the gift he has sent down for us and learn Arabic Quran by heart  to feel the power of it and we as Muslim should try to learn quran with translation to understand it  wile we do Quran memorization and let our heart fill will tears of glory and wash away our sins in the month of Ramadan many people teach quran  and we should participate in teaching quran as much as we could because it is the noble cause to spread the word of Allah and the quran tutor will get the reword in the day of judgment “Will they not meditate on the Quran, or are there locks on the hearts”, Quran for kids , Surah Muhammad, Verse 24. Here is an interesting tajweed quran reciter where you can listen to quran from top Koran reciters and read the Koran with different translation and plz link to it and share it to promote islam

End from online Quran reciter blog

No comments:

Post a Comment