I have the problem of being attracted to beardless youths and I have no desire for women. The reason for this may be a bad experience that I had in childhood. I try to be patient as much as I can. I lower my gaze and I know that this is haraam, and I do not regard it as permissible. I ask Allaah for forgiveness and I pray “O Allaah, purify my heart and keep me chaste.” I do not think that marriage is a solution for me, because I have no desire for women. I fast on Mondays and Thursdays. But this is still in my heart. What should I do? Is there anything that will compensate me in Paradise? I ask Allaah to forgive me if there is any transgression in my question.
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
Remember that this is one of the most serious of problems,
and that it may lead a person to doom. It may affect his mind and make him
go insane, or it may affect his physical health and make him ill, or it may
affect his religious commitment and cause him to be doomed, and lead him to
a bad end. So beware of continuing with this and strive hard, seeking the
help of your Lord, to rid yourself of this evil inclination, and look at
those who have been affected by this so that you may learn a lesson from
them.
Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
It is narrated that a man fell in love with someone and
became totally infatuated with him, and that love became deeply rooted in
his heart until he fell ill, and took to his bed because of it, and that
person tried to keep away from him and felt great resentment towards him.
Intermediaries kept going between them until he promised to visit him. The
sick man was told of that and he rejoiced greatly and his anxiety was
dispelled, and he began to look forward to the appointment that had been
set. Whilst he was like that, the intermediary came and said: He came part
way with me then he went back, but I encouraged him and spoke to him, and he
said: He remembered me, and rejoiced about me, but I will not enter because
I will not expose myself to accusations. I tried to change his mind but he
insisted, and left. When the sick man heard that, he was filled with despair
and became worse than he had been before, and appeared to be in the throes
of death, and he started saying:
Your pleasure is dearer to my heart than the mercy of the
Almighty, the Creator
I said: O So and so, fear Allaah. He said: This is how I
feel.
I got up and left, and I had barely passed through the door
when I heard the cry of death.
Allaah forbid that we should meet with a bad end.
End quote.
Al-Jawaab al-Kaafi (p.
117)
What do you think? Would a wise Muslim want to die as that
sick lover died, who gave precedence to the pleasure of his beloved over the
pleasure of His Creator Who created him and formed him and granted him
provision and guided him to Islam, and bestowed upon him blessings both
apparent and invisible? If you say that you would not want that – which is
what we think you would say – then you should know that you are travelling
the same path as him and that there may befall you what befell him, if you
do not check yourself.
Remember that this is the path that was first travelled by
the people of Loot, namely the love of beardless youths, then Allaah
punished them in a way that no nation has been punished before or since.
Allaah turned their houses upside down and caused the earth to swallow them
up, and He pelted them with stones and took away their sight.
Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said, explaining
different types of love:
A kind of love that is incurs the wrath of Allaah and leads
to one being remote from His mercy and is the most harmful to a person’s
spiritual and worldly interests, is love of beardless youths. No one is
afflicted with this but one who become worthless in the sight of Allaah and
has been expelled from His door and whose heart is far away from Him. It is
one of the worst obstacles that keep a person away from Allaah, as one of
the salaf said: If a person becomes worthless in the sight of Allaah, He
afflicts him with the love of beardless youths. This is the love that
brought the punishment upon the people of Loot, and the only reason for this
punishment was this type of love. Allaah says (interpretation of the
meaning): “Verily, by your life (O Muhammad
صلىالله عليه وسلم), in their wild intoxication, they were wandering
blindly” [al-Hijr 15:72]. End quote.
Al-Jawaab al-Kaafi (p. 173,
174)
Secondly:
Remember that there are causes for this calamity, and these
causes are things that the afflicted person has brought upon himself. The
one who wants to be saved from his predicament must look at these causes and
rid himself of them, otherwise he will be content with his situation and
unwilling to change it for something that is better. These causes may
include the following:
1 – Weakness of faith and lack of love for Allaah in one’s
heart, and a lack of fear of His punishment.
2 – Looking freely at beardless youths, and enjoying their
beauty and appearance.
This is the first route that the affected person takes to
sin. His Lord has commanded him to lower his gaze and avoid looking at
haraam things, and his Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) has enjoined him likewise. If he ignores the command and does that
which is forbidden, then Iblees has shot his poisoned arrow into his heart,
and finished him off.
Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
Looking is the origin of most of
the problems that befall man, because looking generates thoughts, then
thoughts generate ideas, and ideas generate desires, and desires generate
will, which then becomes stronger and becomes firm resolve, in which case
the deed will inevitably be done unless there is something to prevent it.
Hence it was said that patience in lowering the gaze is easier than patience
in bearing the pain that comes afterwards.
Al-Jawaab al-Kaafi,
p. 106
Hence the scholars forbade looking at beardless youths, and
some of them regarded it as more haraam than looking at women.
Al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
Similarly the scholars forbade a man to look at the face of a
beardless youth if he is handsome, whether with or without desire, and
whether it is free of fitnah (temptation) or there is the fear thereof. This
is the correct view which was favoured by the scholars. This was stated by
al-Shaafa’i and the prominent scholars of his madhhab (may Allaah have mercy
on them). The evidence for this is that a beardless youth is, in some ways,
like a woman; he may be desired as a woman is desired, and his form may be
beautiful like that of a woman, and many of them may be more beautiful than
many women. The prohibition applies more to them for another reason, which
is that in their case there may result from attachment to them types of evil
that do not occur in the case of women. End quote.
Sharh Muslim (4/31).
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him)
said:
Looking at the face of a beardless youth with desire is like
looking as the face of a mahram or a non-mahram woman with desire, whether
the desire is desire for intercourse or the desire to derive pleasure from
looking. If he looks at his mother, sister or daughter with pleasure derived
from looking like the pleasure derived from looking at a non-mahram woman,
then it is known to everyone that this is haraam. The same applies to
looking at the face of a beardless youth, according to scholarly consensus.
End quote.
Majmoo’ al-Fataawa (15/413) and
(21/245).
And he (may Allaah have mercy on him) also said:
The one who looks repeatedly at a beardless youth and the
like, or persists in that, and says “I am not looking with desire” is lying,
because if he has no need to look, then he is only looking because of the
pleasure that he feels in his heart as a result. As for an accidental
glance, it is forgiven, if he averts his gaze.
Majmoo’ al-Fataawa (15/419) and
(21/251).
The kind of looking with which these sick people are
afflicted includes what they watch on satellite channels and what they see
in newspapers and magazines, and on websites, of pictures of children and
beardless young men, and this is what provokes them to commit immoral
actions.
3 – Falling short with regard to obligatory and naafil acts
of worship
If the person who is afflicted with this problem prays on
time, fulfilling the conditions and obligatory parts of prayer, that will be
a deterrent that keeps him from falling into evil and immoral ways. Allaah
says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Verily, As‑Salaah (the prayer) prevents from Al‑Fahsha’
(i.e. great sins of every kind, unlawful sexual intercourse) and Al‑Munkar
(i.e. disbelief, polytheism, and every kind of evil wicked deed)”
[al-‘Ankaboot 29:45]
So how about if he regularly performs sunnah and naafil
prayers?
4 – Forsaking the Qur’aan and failing to read books about the
lives of righteous men and the imams
The Book of Allaah contains guidance, light and healing; it
is the best protection for the Muslim against falling into sin and it is the
best remedy for the one who does fall into sin.
If he reads books about the imams and biographies of the
scholars, he can take them as an example and become familiar with their
stories and rise above immorality and evil.
5 – Falling short in seeking knowledge
Knowledge is light, through which one may know what is halaal
and do it, and what is haraam and avoid it. Through it he may come to know
his Lord, may He be exalted, and His names, attributes and deeds. That will
generate in his heart a sense of shyness before his Lord and shyness before
His angels, so that he will not want to commit evil and immoral actions.
Through knowledge he will come to know the state of sinners and the
punishment that Allaah has prepared for them.
6 – A lot of spare time in the lives of those who have this
problem
If they kept themselves busy with acts of worship, sport,
permissible actions and seeking knowledge, they would not have time to spend
in thinking of haraam things, let alone doing them.
7 – Making friends and keeping company with bad people
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
likened the bad friend to one who works the bellows: he will either burn his
companion’s clothes or he will notice a bad smell coming from him.
8 – Not getting married
Allaah has created natural desires in man, and He has made
the outlet for that in women. The permissible way to do that is marriage.
The one who goes against his natural state (fitrah) and diverts that desire
towards other males like him, is even lower than the animals, for the
animals that Allaah has created are in front of us, and do we ever see any
male mounting another male?
Thirdly:
The one who wants to deal with his problem and rid himself of
it should look for the reasons why he has fallen into the haraam actions of
looking, mixing and keeping company with beardless youths, and rid himself
of them by giving them up. Trying to treat the problem without addressing
the causes of sickness is a remedy that is doomed to failure and will never
succeed. There follow some treatment methods for the one who wants to rid
himself of this problem and try to free himself from the trap of the
shaytaan, and seek the pleasure of Allaah. These include:
1 – Strengthening one’s faith by means of acts of worship,
including fasting, filling one’s heart with love of Allaah, and fearing His
punishment.
2 – Preventing oneself from looking at beardless youths with
or without desire, and not keeping company with them or sitting with them at
all, and not being alone with them, even for teaching Qur’aan.
Al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
The favoured view is that being alone with a handsome,
non-mahram beardless youth is like being alone with a woman, and it is
haraam to be alone with him just as it is haraam to be alone with a woman,
unless one is with a group of men ofgood character. End quote.
Sharh al-Nawawi (9/109).
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him)
said:
As for keeping company with beardless youths, especially with
one of them, as they do, which may lead to being alone with a handsome
beardless youth or letting him stay overnight with a man, and so on, these
are among the worst of evils, according to the Muslims, and according to the
Jews and Christians, and others. End quote.
Majmoo’ al-Fataawa (11/542).
Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have
mercy on him) said:
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him)
said: It is not permissible to be alone with a beardless youth even if that
is with the intention of teaching him, because the shaytaan flows through
the son of Adam like blood. How many people have becomes infatuated with
these beardless youths and fell into the trap of the shaytaan and whims and
desires. This is a matter which must be warned against. End quote.
Al-Sharh al-Mumti’ (1/294,
295).
3 – Praying regularly and on time, and being keen to do
regular Sunnah and naafil prayers.
4 – Reciting a portion of Qur’aan regularly, and reciting the
adhkaars for morning and evening, and reading about the lives and
biographies of the imams.
5 – Seeking knowledge by reading, listening and watching.
This is something that is required of every Muslim.
6 – Filling one’s time with acts of worship and obedience,
and that which will be of benefit in one's spiritual and worldly affairs.
7 – Shunning bad company and looking for righteous friends to
stay close to and benefit from their knowledge and good attitude.
8 – Seeking to get married straight away, to satisfy one’s
desires in a permissible manner.
9 – Seeking the help of Allaah by calling upon Him and asking
Him to save him from this sickness and calamity.
10 – Thinking about those who have fallen into this haraam
kind of love and what it has led to, such as insanity, sickness and apostasy
– Allaah forbid.
Ibn al-Qayyim said:
The remedy for this awful sickness is to seek the help of the
One Who has control of the hearts and to turn sincerely to Him, keeping busy
with remembrance of Him (dhikr) and trying to fill his heart with love for
Him and closeness to Him, and thinking of the pain that may result from this
love and pleasure, which leads to the loss of that which is most loved and
the infliction of that which is most disliked. But if in spite of all that
he still feels that he prefers to persist in his misguidance, then he should
realize that there is no hope for him.
Al-Jawaab al-Kaafi (p. 174).
And Allaah knows best
From learning Quran online Blog
And important note that we want to discuss and share with you it is about Quran reading and doing Quran recitation online to understand it, Ramadan is the month when the beautiful the Holy Quran has been revealed. A miracle by the creator of the worlds, Allah (SWT) Should we not glorify him by reading quran the gift he has sent down for us and learn Arabic Quran by heart to feel the power of it and we as Muslim should try to learn quran with translation to understand it wile we do Quran memorization and let our heart fill will tears of glory and wash away our sins in the month of Ramadan many people teach quran and we should participate in teaching quran as much as we could because it is the noble cause to spread the word of Allah and the quran tutor will get the reword in the day of judgment “Will they not meditate on the Quran, or are there locks on the hearts”, Quran for kids , Surah Muhammad, Verse 24. Here is an interesting tajweed quran reciter where you can listen to quran from top Koran reciters and read the Koran with different translation and plz link to it and share it to promote islam
End from online Quran reciter blog
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