Thursday, 28 April 2011

Love and correspondence before marriage

I am a young man and fell in love with our neighbour’s daughter. That went on for two years without her knowing and without me telling her or anyone among my family, and without me meeting her. I was hoping that she would become my wife. Then I had a car accident that left me with extensive injuries and I became almost disabled. I was very worried because the dream that I had of marrying that girl seemed to be slipping away, then suddenly m my sister asked me to tell her frankly what was worrying me, and I told her what was on my mind. My sister said to me: I am going to tell her of your love for her and after that she can choose. The surprise was that she also loved me, and we began to exchange messages of love via my sister (messages that were, by Allaah, noble and chaste). After two years I proposed marriage to her and she agreed, praise be to Allaah. After one year we got married and we lived happily, and during that period I only saw her from afar, because they are our neighbours and we would meet by accident. I never spoke to her except on the wedding night. I have heard that because of our love for one another we have committed a sin. Is this correct? What is the expiation for that sin?.

Praise be to Allaah.


We ask Allaah to reward you
for the calamity that befell you, and to increase the love between you and
your wife.


A person cannot be blamed
for love that he does not cause, such as if he sees a girl by accident and
his heart is filled with love for her, but he does not do anything haraam
such as looking repeatedly or shaking hands or being alone with her, or
exchanging emotional words with her. As for the love that stems from
repeated looking, haraam mixing or correspondence, the one who does that is
sinning to the extent that he does haraam things in his relationship and


Correspondence between the
sexes is not permissible, because that provokes temptation and usually
results in evil. If a man corresponds with a non-mahram woman in letters
that are not seen by anyone else, that leads to many evils. Islam forbids a
woman to be alone with a man who is not her mahram because of the fitnah
(temptation) and bad things that result from that, such as attachment and
the desire to look and touch, etc. All of this results from the man talking
to the woman in these private letters or conversations, especially if they
are young and at an age when desire is strong. 

Shaykh Ibn Jibreen (may
Allaah preserve him) was asked: What is the ruling on correspondence between
young men and young women, if this correspondence is free from immorality,
love and desire? 

He replied: It is not
permissible for any person to correspond with a woman who is not his mahram,
because of the temptation involved in that. The person may think that there
is no temptation, but the shaytaan will keep trying until he tempts him
through her, and tempts her through him. The Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) told the one who hears of the Dajjaal to
keep away from him, and he said that a man may come to him as a believer but
the Dajjaal will keep trying until he tempts him and confuses him. 

There is a great deal of
temptation and danger in correspondence between young men and women which
means that it has to be avoided, even though the questioner says that there
was no love or desire involved. End quote from Fataawa al-Mar’ah,
compiled by Muhammad al-Musnid, p. 96. 

The woman is forbidden to
speak softly to one who is not permissible for her, as Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning): 

“be not soft in speech,
lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy, or evil desire for
adultery) should be moved with desire, but speak in an honourable manner”

[al-Ahzaab 33:32] 

And it is haraam for a man
to enjoy listening to the speech or voice of a non-mahram woman. 

Making your sister the
go-between in passing on the letters is another evil, because that is
encouraging her to engage in this kind of activity. 

Based on this, what you have to do is repent to Allaah, and do a lot of righteous deeds, but you do not have to do anything else. 

From learning Quran online Blog

And important note that we want to discuss and share with you it is about Quran reading and doing Quran recitation online to understand it, Ramadan is the month when the beautiful the Holy Quran has been revealed.  A miracle by the creator of the worlds, Allah (SWT)  Should we not glorify him by reading quran the gift he has sent down for us and learn Arabic Quran by heart  to feel the power of it and we as Muslim should try to learn quran with translation to understand it  wile we do Quran memorization and let our heart fill will tears of glory and wash away our sins in the month of Ramadan many people teach quran  and we should participate in teaching quran as much as we could because it is the noble cause to spread the word of Allah and the quran tutor will get the reword in the day of judgment “Will they not meditate on the Quran, or are there locks on the hearts”, Quran for kids , Surah Muhammad, Verse 24. Here is an interesting tajweed quran reciter where you can listen to quran from top Koran reciters and read the Koran with different translation and plz link to it and share it to promote islam

End from online Quran reciter blog

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