Thursday, 6 October 2011

How should she deal with her husband who gets angry quickly if she is late in responding to his requests?


My husband fails to consider me when assigning me to do things for him. He gets angry whenever he asks me to do things for him and i fail to do them in time due to my working schedules.I bothers me alot.

Praise be to Allaah.

There is no doubt that kind and good treatment of one’s
spouse and life partner is the most important means of maintaining a good
relationship between the spouses. The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah
be upon him) said: “The best of you is the best of you to his family, and I
am the best of you to my family.”

Narrated by at-Tirmidhi, 3895; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani 

But you should also understand that there is no one who is
free of mistakes, faults or shortcomings. If we want to interact with people
in this life, then we have to put up with some of what they have of faults
of which no one is free. Mistakes and shortcomings are human
characteristics. If this person is your husband, then the issue is more
serious and more important for you, because he is your life partner and the
person who has the greatest rights over you, and because the issue in this
case will have a huge impact on both of your lives. 

If you do not like the attitude or nature of a friend of
yours, you could always leave her and find another friend to make up for
that. But in the case of your husband, not understanding this matter in your
interactions with him and not putting up with his faults and shortcomings
will lead to serious bad consequences. Hence the Prophet (blessings and
peace of Allah be upon him) warned that focusing on the wife’s faults and
shortcomings makes marital life difficult and may lead to grudges between
the spouses. 

Muslim narrated in his Saheeh (1467) that Abu Hurayrah
(may Allah be pleased with him): The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace
of Allah be upon him) said: “No believing man should hate a believing woman.
If he dislikes one of her characteristics, he may be pleased with another.” 

We are certain that you will find good characteristics and
positive features in your husband and your household and your family that
will motivate you to put up with this fault, which we agree with you is a
fault, but it is possible to live with it and put up with it, and try to
remedy it with good treatment and wisdom. 

You can give precedence to what he asks you to do – as much
as you can – over your other tasks. 

You can apologise to him if you are late, even if you have an
excuse and the matter was beyond your control. If you apologise to him and
put his mind at rest, it will not cost you anything you will gain a great
deal, in sha Allah. 

We ask Allah to reconcile between you and your husband. 

And Allah knows best.


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