What is permissible for a husband after doing the marriage contract with his wife and before announcing the consummation of the marriage?

I have understood from the answers on this website that there are no restrictions between a man and a woman after the nikah, even though the marriage has not been consumated yet. I have read some answers to this question on your website, but i have not been able to find a satisfying answer to the general statement that some people make that one should follow the way of the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and the man and the woman should not meet alone, as he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did not meet with Hadrat Ayesha (RA) till their marriage was consumated a few years after the nikah. So if the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) didnt meet with her alone during the time between the nikah and consumation of marriage, then what is the daleel on which the scholars have based their justification that allows a man and woman to meet with each other after nikah and before the consumation of marriage?.

Praise be to Allaah.

The man remains a stranger to the woman and it is not permissible for him to look at her, shake hands with her or be alone with her. If he wants to marry her, then he should propose marriage – and in this case it becomes permissible for him to look at her only; not shake hands with her or be alone with her. If her family agree and give her in marriage to him, then he becomes her husband and she becomes his wife, and it is permissible for him to do everything – looking, being alone with her, touching her, shaking hands and being intimate, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“And those who guard their chastity (i.e. private parts, from illegal sexual acts)

6. Except from their wives…”

[al-Mu’minoon 23:5] 

Marriage is established as soon as the marriage contract is done, hence if one of the spouses dies after the marriage contract has been done, the other one inherits from him or her, even if that is before consummation. 

This is the evidence that was quoted by the scholars with regard to this issue. 

But it has become customary among people to announce the marriage contract separately from the consummation, not because consummation is haraam after the marriage contract, but rather because the husband’s circumstances may not allow him to take his wife to the marital home, so there is what is known as “announcement of consummation” or “the wedding night”. As this is the case, the husband should not consummate the marriage with his wife until after the consummation has been announced, because if he consummated the marriage with her before that, it may cause serious problems for both of them. He may divorce her or die, and she may be a virgin who then loses her virginity, and she may become pregnant, thus the woman exposes herself to suspicion and she and her family may be the subject of unending gossip. See the answer to question no. 52806. 

As for the questioner saying that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was not alone with ‘Aa’ishah during the period between the marriage contract and the consummation, this is just conjecture. Who can be certain about that? That period lasted for three years, during which the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to come to Abu Bakr’s house twice a day, morning and evening, as is proven in Saheeh al-Bukhaari (476). 

So who can say that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was never alone with ‘Aa’ishah during that period? 

However, it may be that this is true, but that does not mean that this is haraam, because it is proven that it is permissible, based on evidence from the Qur’aan, as quoted above. 

And Allaah knows best.

Ruling on what comes before consummating the marriage with one’s wife; is it haraam to have intercourse after doing the marriage contract?

I heard someone say, when a young man asked him what the rights of the one who has had made a marriage contract are, he replied: Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“Forbidden to you (for marriage) are: your mothers, your daughters, your sisters, your father’s sisters, your mother’s sisters, your brother’s daughters, your sister’s daughters, your foster mothers who gave you suck, your foster milk suckling sisters, your wives’ mothers, your stepdaughters under your guardianship, born of your wives to whom you have gone in — but there is no sin on you if you have not gone in them (to marry their daughters)” [al-Nisa’ 4:23] 
Here Allaah differentiates between those to whom you have gone in (consummated the marriage) and those to whom you have not gone in. Is it permissible for the the one who has had made a marriage contract to have intercourse or touch (his wife)? 
I read previously that it is permissible for the one who has had made a marriage contract to do everything because she is his wife, and if the wife gets pregnant before the wedding party, the child is legitimate and has the right to inherit. Is the evidence for this answer correct?.

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly: 

The speaker whom you mention is not correct with regard to the ruling or to the evidence quoted. The verse which he quoted as evidence is describing the women whom a man is forbidden to marry. Allaah states that it is haraam to marry mothers, daughters and paternal aunts. Among others whom Allaah says men are forbidden to marry are the daughters of a wife with whom one has consummated the marriage. If a man makes a marriage contract with a woman and she has a daughter, then he leaves her before consummating the marriage with her, then it is permissible for him to marry her daughter, but if he leaves the mother after consummating the marriage with her, then it is not permissible for him to marry her daughter, rather she is permanently forbidden to him. 

This is what the verse means. The verse has nothing to do with what is permitted for the husband to do with his wife with whom he has made a marriage contract. Rather the verse speaks of those women whom a man is forbidden to marry, and states that in order for a stepdaughter – the daughter of a wife – to become his mahram (one whom he is forbidden to marry), it is stipulated that he have consummated the marriage with her mother, and if he has not consummated the marriage with her mother, then it is permissible for him to marry her (the daughter). 

Any person who is asked about something that he does not know must say “I do not know.” It is not permissible for anyone to say about Islam something that is not true, or to say that something is haraam when Allaah has permitted it, or to say that something is halaal when Allaah has forbidden it. 

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“And follow not (O man, i.e., say not, or do not, or witness not) that of which you have no knowledge. Verily, the hearing, and the sight, and the heart of each of those ones will be questioned (by Allaah)”

[al-Isra’ 17:36] 

“Say (O Muhammad): (But) the things that my Lord has indeed forbidden are Al‑Fawaahish (great evil sins and every kind of unlawful sexual intercourse) whether committed openly or secretly, sins (of all kinds), unrighteous oppression, joining partners (in worship) with Allaah for which He has given no authority, and saying things about Allaah of which you have no knowledge”

[al-A’raaf 7:33] 

Secondly:

With regard to the one who has made a marriage contract with his wife, it is permissible for him to do everything, as she is his wife and he is her husband. If she dies he will inherit from her and if he dies, she will inherit from him, and she is entitled to the mahr in full. But it is better for the one who has made a marriage contract not to consummate the marriage until the marriage has been announced, because consummating the marriage before it has been announced may lead to many evils. The wife may be a virgin and lose her virginity, or she may become pregnant from this intercourse, then she may get divorced or her husband may die, and this will cause anxiety to her family and will cause great embarrassment. Hence the one who has made a marriage contract may touch and kiss his wife, but he should refrain from intercourse, not because it is haraam, but because of the bad things that may result from it. 

For more information please see the answer to question no. 3215. 

Thirdly: 

A number of practical rulings have to do with not consummating the marriage. 

‘Iddah: if a man divorces his wife before consummating the marriage with her, she does not have to observe any ‘iddah, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“O you who believe! When you marry believing women, and then divorce them before you have sexual intercourse with them, no ‘Iddah [divorce prescribed period] have you to count in respect of them. So give them a present, and set them free (i.e. divorce) in a handsome manner”

[al-Ahzaab 33:49] 

Mahr (dowry): if a man divorces his wife before consummating the marriage with her, then she is entitled to half of the agreed upon dowry, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“And if you divorce them before you have touched (had a sexual relation with) them, and you have appointed unto them the Mahr (bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage), then pay half of that (Mahr), unless they (the women) agree to forego it, or he (the husband), in whose hands is the marriage tie, agrees to forego and give her full appointed Mahr. And to forego and give (her the full Mahr) is nearer to At-Taqwa (piety, righteousness)”

[al-Baqarah 2:237] 

If no mahr has been stipulated, then she is entitled to a gift according to what he can afford, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“There is no sin on you, if you divorce women while yet you have not touched (had sexual relation with) them, nor appointed unto them their Mahr (bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage). But bestow on them (a suitable gift), the rich according to his means, and the poor according to his means, a gift of reasonable amount is a duty on the doers of good”

[al-Baqarah 2:236] 

But if the husband dies, then she is entitled to the mahr in full, if it was agreed upon, and if they had not agreed on the mahr, then she is entitled to a mahr like that of her peers. 

It was narrated from ‘Alqamah from Ibn Mas’ood (may Allaah be pleased with him) that he was asked about a man who married a woman but did not stipulate a dowry, and he did not consummate the marriage with her before he died. Ibn Mas’ood said: She should have a dowry like that of her peers, without exaggeration or falling short, and she has to observe the ‘iddah, and the inheritance is hers. Ma’qil ibn Sinaan al-Ashja’i stood up and said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) passed a ruling concerning Birwa’ bint Waashiq – one of our womenfolk – similar to what you have said. Ibn Mas’ood rejoiced at that. 

Narrated by Abu Dawood (2114), al-Tirmidhi (1145), al-Nasaa’i (3355), Ibn Maajah (1891). Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Irwa’ al-Ghaleel (1939). 

And Allaah knows best.

Is a second marriage contract valid if the husband did not disclose that he was still married to his first wife?

I have a question about the marriage. Is a marriage legal when the man keep some important information for himself? When the woman knew about this, she didn't want to marrie him. It's about that the man didn't tell her, that he is still married with another woman.

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly: 

The fuqaha’ (may Allaah have mercy on them) have listed some things which give either spouse the right to annul the marriage contract. Among these they mention annulment based on physical defects, in the sense that it is permissible for either the husband or the wife to request annulment of the marriage contract if one of them finds physical defects in the other. 

It says in al-Mawsoo’ah al-Fiqhiyyah (29/68): 

The fuqaha’ of the four madhhabs are agreed that it is permissible to separate the spouses on the grounds of physical defects. End quote. 

Not every physical defect that either spouse finds in the other means that it is permissible to annul the marriage, rather the guideline with regard to these faults is that it is that which prevents fulfilment of the purpose of marriage, such as physical pleasure, love, tranquillity, offspring and so on. 

Ibn Taymiyah said in al-Ikhtiyaaraat (p. 222): A woman may be rejected because of any physical defect that prevents full physical pleasure. End quote. 

Ibn al-Qayyim said: By analogy, every physical defect that puts one spouse off the other, and prevents fulfilment of the purpose of marriage such as compassion and love, results in giving the option of annulling the marriage. End quote. 

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen said:  

The correct view is that there is a guideline on this issue, which is whatever people regard as a physical defect that prevents full physical pleasure,  this is a physical defect. Defects with regard to marriage are the same as defects with regard to financial transactions, because both are shortcomings that affect the contract. End quote. 

Secondly: 

The fact that a man is married to another woman is not a defect for which the marriage contract may be annulled, because the man has the right to marry a second, third and fourth wife, and she does not have the right to demand that the marriage be annulled if he is treating them all fairly. 

Shaykh Ibn Jibreen was asked: Is it essential for a marriage to be valid that the man should tell the woman whom he wants to marry that he has another wife, if she does not ask him about that? Are there any consequences if he denies it when asked? 

He replied: 

The man is not obliged to tell his wife or her family that he is already married if they do not ask him, but that is not usually concealed. Marriage cannot be done except after a period of researching and asking on the part of both spouses, to ensure that they are suited to one another. But it is not permissible to conceal anything. If one party lies and on the basis of that the other party decides to go ahead with the marriage, then the latter is given the choice. If he says that he is not married and he is lying, then she is allowed to have the marriage annulled. If they say that she is a virgin and that is not the case, then he has the choice of going ahead with the marriage or of leaving her. End quote. 

Fawaa’id wa Fataawa Tuhimm al-Mar’ah al-Muslimah, 114.

He committed zina with a woman; is he allowed to marry her daughter?

I am a thirty year old man. The shaytaan tempted me and I committed zina with a woman, then Allaah blessed me and had mercy on me, and I repented sincerely to Allaah, may Allaah accept it from me. Until now I have not gotten married. I have decided to get married and my mother has suggested a girl, but this girl is the daughter of the woman with whom I committed zina before (please note that the zina occurred two years ago, and her daughter is now twenty years old). Hence I hope that you can advise me whether this marriage is haraam or not? I hope that you can explain fully.

Praise be to Allaah.

We ask Allaah to accept your repentance. Strive to make it a sincere repentance, because the crime of zina is a grave sin which results in many evils. The married man who commits zina deserves to be stoned to death, and there is no greater punishment than that among the hudood punishments, because of the abhorrent and repugnant nature of this crime. 

Our advice to you is not to marry this girl, not because marrying her is haraam, but because through this marriage you will become closer to her mother with whom you committed zina, and getting close to her will remind you of that evil sin, and the shaytaan may whisper to you again, and make sin appear attractive to you, so you fall into it. Keeping away from reminders of evil and sin is part of repentance. This is indicated by the hadeeth about the one who killed one hundred people; the scholar told him to leave his village because its people were evil and immoral people. This is part of repenting fully. 

With regard to whether it is permissible to marry this girl, there was a difference of opinion among the scholars regarding such cases. Al-Shaafa’i and Maalik – according to one of the two reports narrated from him – said that it is permissible, but Abu Haneefah, Ahmad and Maalik – according to the other report – said that such a marriage is haraam. The more correct is the first view. 

Ibn ‘Abd al-Barr said: 

They differed concerning a man who commits zina with a woman; is it permissible for him to marry her daughter or mother? Similarly, if he committed zina with a woman, can his son or father marry her? In all these cases, does zina make haraam what a valid marriage or an invalid marriage makes haraam (i.e., makes certain relatives mahrams to whom marriage is forbidden)? 

Maalik said in his Muwatta’: Zina with a woman does not make it haraam for the one who commits zina with her to marry her daughter or mother. If a man commits zina with the mother of his wife, his wife does not become haraam to him, rather he should be killed. Zina does not make haraam anything that a permissible marriage makes haraam. 

This is the view of Ibn Shihaab al-Zuhri and Rabee’ah; it was also the view of al-Layth ibn Sa’d, al-Shaafa’i, Abu Thawr and Dawood. It was also narrated from Ibn ‘Abbaas, who said concerning that: A haraam deed does not make something permissible haraam. 

Ibn al-Qaasim narrated from Maalik something other than what is said in al-Muwatta’. He said: If a man commits zina with the mother of his wife, he must be separated from his wife, and in his view he comes under the ruling of one who has married his wife’s mother and consummated the marriage with her. This is also the view of Abu Haneefah and his companions, and of al-Thawri and al-Awzaa’i, all of whom said that if a man commits zina with his wife’s mother, then his wife becomes haraam for him. 

Sahnoon said: The companions of Maalik all disagreed with Ibn al-Qaasim on this matter and they agreed with what it says in al-Muwatta’. Allaah has forbidden the Muslim to marry his wife’s mother or daughter. If a man owns a slave woman and he has intercourse with her, then her mother and daughter also become haraam for him. 

Similarly, if his father has intercourse with a woman whom he marries or owns as a slave, they become haraam for the son, and vice versa. This has to do with permissible types of intercourse. And Allaah is the One Whose help we seek.  

These fuqaha’ – the ones who were qualified to issue fatwas in the Islamic regions – were unanimously agreed that it is not haraam for a man to marry a woman with whom he committed zina, if it is established that she is not pregnant, so it is more likely that he is permitted to marry her mother or daughter. And Allaah is the source of strength.

 Al-Istidhkaar (5/463, 464). 

Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 

The correct view is that the mother of a woman with whom a man has committed zina is not haraam for the one who did that, and the daughter of the woman with whom he committed zina is not haraam for the one who did that, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“All others are lawful”

[al-Nisa’ 4:24] 

Allaah did not mention the mother or daughter of a woman with whom zina has been committed as being among those to whom marriage is forbidden, rather He said:  

“your wives’ mothers, your stepdaughters under your guardianship, born of your wives to whom you have gone in — but there is no sin on you if you have not gone in them (to marry their daughters),”

[al-Nisa’ 4:23] 

It is well known that the woman with whom a man has committed zina is not one of his wives at all. As she is not one of his wives, it is not valid to compare fornication to valid marriage. If he has repented from zina it is permissible for him to marry the mother or daughter of a woman with whom he committed zina. End quote. 

Al-Sharh al-Mumti’ (7/38, 39) 

Conclusion: 

This is a matter concerning which the scholars differed. The correct view is that it is permissible to marry the daughter of a woman with whom one has committed zina so long as she is not one’s own daughter, but our advice to you is not to marry her for two reasons: to be on the safe side, because she is haraam for you according to many of the scholars, and so that your marriage to her will not be a cause of your getting close to her mother and getting in touch with her, which may lead to you going back to that sin from which you have repented. And Allaah knows best.

She had an operation to have her tubes tied before she became Muslim; does she have to have them untied now?

I have been Muslim for 2 years and before becoming Muslim I had my tubes tied 3 years ago. I am now married and my husband and I would like to know if we should have my tubes untied to allow procreation? We are prepared to do so if we have sound evidence.

Praise be to Allaah.

Islam encourages us to reproduce and have many children. A man came to the Messenger of Allaah and said: I have found a woman of good lineage, but she cannot have children. Should I marry her? He told him not to do that. He came to him a second time and he told him not to do that. Then he came to him a third time, and he told him not to do that and said: “Marry the one who is fertile and loving, for I will be proud of your numbers.” Narrated by Abu Dawood (2050), al-Nasaa’i (3227); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood. 

This is one of the aims of marriage, which is to produce a Muslim child who will be given a righteous upbringing and who will benefit his family and his nation. This is one of the blessings whose value cannot be known except by the one who is deprived of it. Allaah has made children an adornment of life, as He says (interpretation of the meaning: 

“Wealth and children are the adornment of the life of this world. But the good righteous deeds that last, are better with your Lord for rewards and better in respect of hope”

[al-Kahf 18:46] 

Secondly: 

It is not permissible for a woman to prevent having children except in cases of real necessity, such as if pregnancy poses a danger to her life. 

It says in a report of the Islamic Fiqh Council, issued during its fifth conference in 1409 AH/1988 CE: 

Firstly: it is not permissible to promulgate a law which limits a couple’s freedom to have children. 

Secondly:  It is haraam to remove the ability to produce children for both the man and the woman, which is known as sterilization, except in cases of necessity as defined by sharee’ah.  

Thirdly: it is permissible to stop reproduction temporarily so as to space out pregnancies, or stop them for a specific length of time, if there is a legitimate shar’i need to do so, if that is decided by both spouses with mutual consultation and agreement, so long as that will not result in any harm and so long as the means used are permissible according to Islam, and there is no transgression against an existing pregnancy. And Allaah knows best. 

End quote from Majallat al-Majma’ (5/1/748). 

Based on that, it is not permissible to have one’s tubes tied in order to prevent pregnancy permanently, except in cases of necessity. Now you have to have them untied if that will not result in harm.  

See also question no. 20168. 

And Allaah knows best.

Does a man have to ask his wife for permission to observe a voluntary fast as is required of her?

A woman has to ask her husband’s permission to fast, I mean apart from the month of Ramadaan, and that is because of his right to have intercourse with her whenever he wants, and she is obliged to obey him. Does she also have the right for him to ask her permission to fast?.

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly: 

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade wives to observe voluntary fasts when their husbands are present without their permission. 

It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “It is not permissible for a woman to fast when her husband is present except with his permission.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5195; Muslim, 1026. 

A version narrated by Ahmad (9813) says: “No woman should fast a single day when her husband is present except with his permission, except Ramadaan.” 

Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Targheeb, 1052. 

Al-Nawawi said: 

This is to be understood as referring to voluntary and recommended fasts for which there is no specific time. This prohibition implies that it is haraam.  The reason for that is that the husband has the right to enjoy his wife on all days, and his right must be responded to immediately and not cancelled out by a voluntary fast or an obligatory fast that could be done some other time. 

Sharh Muslim, 7/115 

Secondly: 

The reason why this prohibition is addressed to women and not to men may be explained as follows: 

1 – The husband’s right over his wife is stronger than her right over him, so it is not correct to draw an analogy between husband and wife on this point.

 Ibn Qudaamah said in al-Mughni, 7/223: 

Thus the husband’s right over the wife is greater than her right over him, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them”

[al-Baqarah 2:228]  

And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If I were to command anyone to prostrate to anyone else, I would have commanded women to prostrate to their husbands, because of the rights that Allaah has given them over them.” Narrated by Abu Dawood. 

End quote. 

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said in al-Fataawa al-Kubra (3/144): 

After the duties she owes to Allaah and His Messenger, no right is more binding on a woman than the rights of her husband. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If I were to command anyone to prostrate to anyone else, I would have commanded women to prostrate to their husbands, because of the greatness of the rights that he (the husband) has over her.” 

End quote. 

2 – The husband is usually the one who initiates intercourse, and the woman is the one who is sought. So usually it is he who pursues her, so it is appropriate that she should ask his permission before observing a naafil fast, because he may want to have intercourse with her. 

3 – Men’s desire is greater than women’s, hence it is permissible for a man to marry up to four wives. This does not apply in the case of women. Hence men are less able to be patient in refraining from intercourse than women are. This is why women are required to ask permission to fast, and it is why a strong warning is issued to women not to refuse intercourse when their husbands call them. 

The context of the hadeeth supports this reason. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade women to observe voluntary fasts without permission when a woman’s husband complained about her and said that he wanted to have intercourse with her, but she fasted a great deal and his rights were not being fulfilled. 

It was narrated that Abu Sa’eed (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: A woman came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) when we were with him, and said: “O Messenger of Allaah, my husband, Safwaan ibn al-Mu’attal, hits me when I pray and he makes me break my fast when I am fasting, and he does not pray Fajr until the sun is rising.” Safwaan was with him, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) asked him about what she had said. He said: “O Messenger of Allaah, as for saying that I hit her when she prays, she recites two soorahs and I told her not to.” He said: “If it is one soorah, that is sufficient for people.” He said: “As for her saying that I make her break her fast, she goes ahead and fasts, and I am a young man and I cannot be patient.” The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said on that day: “No woman should fast except with her husband’s permission.” “As for her saying that I do not pray until the sun is rising, we are a household who are used to that, and we cannot wake up until the sun is rising.” He said: “When you wake up, then pray.” 

Narrated by Abu Dawood, 2459. 

Classed as saheeh by Ibn Hibbaan, 4/354; al-Haafiz ibn Hajar in al-Isaabah, 3/441; al-Albaani in Irwa’ al-Ghaleel, 7/65 

Shaykh Muhammad al-Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 

One of his rights over her is that she should not do anything that detracts from his right to complete enjoyment of her, even if that is a voluntary act of worship, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “It is not permissible for a woman to fast when her husband is present except with his permission, or to allow anyone into his house without his permission.” 

Huqooq da’at ilayha al-Fitrah wa Qararat-ha al-Shar’iyyah, p. 12 

It is not permissible for a woman to observe a voluntary fast when her husband is present except with his permission, because he has the right to intimacy and intercourse with her. If she fasts and denies him his rights, it is not permissible for her to do that, and her naafil fast is not valid unless she does it with his permission. 

Al-Muntaqa min Fataawa al-Shaykh al-Fawzaan, 4/73, 74 

4 – Fulfilling the husband’s rights, raking care of the house and raising the children are all duties of the wife. The husband may think that there is a conflict between these duties and observing naafil fasts. It is well known that women – and some men –when they fast, become tired and neglect their household duties, hence it is required for them to seek permission to observe naafil fasts, but not obligatory fasts. 

5 – The husband usually goes out to work and earns a living, unlike the wife whose work is in the home. It is not prescribed for the husband to ask permission because there is no need for that, unlike the woman who has to ask permission. 

Whatever the case, the commands and prohibitions of sharee’ah are all wise, and the Muslim must say “We hear and we obey.” The basic principle is that rulings apply equally to both men and women except in cases where Allaah has differentiated between them for a reason that has to do with the nature of women or to test people so that the sincere believer may be distinguished from other people. 

And Allaah knows best.

He talks about marriage secrets and gets married with the intention of divorcing the woman

I'm married to a muslim to whom I'm losing trust.  We've been married for a few years. I knew him prior to marriage and I (we) did repent for that. But he has gone off on (2) different occasions to acquire a second wife. On both occasions the sisters that he married seemed more out of desire and assuming that things would be different with marrying a less than knowledgable individual that lack basic manners and deen. Even after knowing this at the time of marriage, he consumates then complains that he wants this second wife to have similar manners and deen as I do. My concern is that he has reveiled his past (I know that as muslims we should keep these things to ourselves) and he was married several times as a kafir, and cheated on these wives and now it seems that he's using Islam as a justification for doing this (having mutiple wives). He's says that he loves me, but I feel that he's just used to me and my good manners and resourcefulness, but he doesn't attempt to treat the second spouse the way he treats me. He is very open to tell me things about the second spouse that I don't want to hear.
Both marriages were seemed to be performed in a very sneaky and questionable manner. I don't have a enough space to go into the details. He has stated on occassions that he has to have a second wife. Is it allowed in Islam for a man to marry and divorce as many women as he wants (I know no more than 4 at one time), but one every few months, even if he's just marrying another woman for the purpose of having something different temporarily? With the intent of using one of her negative qualities as a reason for divorce? We do not have children. Am I allowed to request a divorce on the grounds that I cannot continue to cope with these situations and I'm losing the love and desire for my husband.

Praise be to Allaah.  

Firstly: 

It is obligatory for both spouses to keep the secrets of the marriage, especially anything that has to do with their intimate relationship in bed.  The wife is entrusted with the husband’s secrets and the husband is entrusted with the wife’s secrets. 

It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) turned to the men and said, “Is there any man among you who, when he comes to his wife, he locks the door, throws his blanket over himself and conceals himself with the cover of Allaah?” They said, “Yes.” He said, “And does he sit after that and say, ‘I did such and such, and I did such and such?’” They remained silent. Then he turned to the women and said, “Is there anyone among you who speaks (of private marital matters)?” They remained silent. Then a buxom young girl sat up tall so that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) would see her and hear her words, and said, “O Messenger of Allaah, (the men) speak and (the women) speak.” He said, “Do you know what the likeness of that is? The likeness of that is that of a female devil who meets a male devil in the street and he fulfils his desire with her when the people are looking on.” 

Narrated by Abu Dawood, 2174. Classed as saheeh by Shaykh al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 7037. 

Secondly: 

With regard to your husband’s other marriages, if that is for the purpose of “having a change” as you say, then this is marriage with the intention of divorcing, which is deceiving the woman and her guardians (walis). 

Shaykh Muhammad Rasheed Rida (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 

The fact that the scholars of the earlier and later generations emphatically forbade mut’ah (temporary marriage) implies that marriage with the intention of divorce is haraam, even though the fuqaha’ said that a marriage contract is valid if the husband intends it to be temporary but did not state that as a condition in the marriage contract; but his concealing that is regarded as a betrayal and deceit, and this contract deserves to be annulled more than one in which he stipulated the condition that it be temporary with the agreement of the husband, the wife and the wife’s guardian. This leads to many evil consequences as it is abusing this great bond which is the greatest of human relationships, and going along with one’s whims and desires. When this condition is not stated clearly, that is cheating and betrayal which leads to other bad consequences such as enmity, hatred and loss of trust even of sincere people who want to get married in the real sense, which means protecting the chastity of both partners and cooperating in establishing a righteous home… 

Quoted from Fiqh al-Sunnah by al-Sayyid al-Saabiq, 2/39 

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) spoke similar words on the prohibition of such marriages. He said: 

Moreover this view – the view that (such marriages) are permitted – may be exploited by those who are weak in faith for evil purposes, as we hear that some people have started to go on vacation, during time off from studies, to other countries to get married with the intention of divorcing soon. I have been told that some of them marry several wives on these trips, as if they go there only to satisfy their desires which are more like zina (adultery, fornication) – we seek refuge with Allaah.

Because of this we think that even if there is a view that it is permitted, it is not appropriate to open this door because it has becomes a means that leads to that which we have mentioned. 

With regard to my opinion on this matter, I say that this marriage contract is a valid contract, but it involves deceit and betrayal, so it may become haraam because of that. 

It is deceit and betrayal because the wife and her guardian, if they knew the intention of this husband, and that his intention is to enjoy intimacy with her and then divorce her, they would not adept this marriage. So in that sense he is deceiving and betraying them. 

If he tells them that he wants her to stay with him for the duration of his visit to that country, and they agree to that, then this marriage is mut’ah (temporary marriage). 

Hence I think that it is haraam, but if anyone goes ahead and does it, then the marriage contract is valid, but it involves sin. 

Liqa’ al-Baab al-Maftooh, Question 1391. 

But if he married you with the intention of making the marriage permanent, and he has no intention of divorce, but then something happens which is a reason for divorce, then there is no sin on him in that case. 

Thirdly: 

With regard to his getting married in secret, if that is in the presence of the woman’s guardian and two witnesses, and the marriage contract is done in that fashion, then it is a valid marriage. But if it is done without the woman’s guardian or without the presence of two witnesses, then the marriage is not valid. See questions no. 7989 and 2127. 

Fourthly: 

We advise your husband to fear Allaah with regard to his family, and to fear Him with regard to people’s honour. He should note that it is not permissible for him to fool about in this manner, for marriage is love, tranquility and compassion, so he should not make it merely a means of satisfying his desire and then abandon the woman.

We also advise you to be gentle in denouncing your husband, and to preserve the stability of the home, and be sure of what you mention about his intention in taking several wives and what you do not like about him. Remember that a woman’s jealousy towards co-wives may lead her to make mountains out of molehills, and the waswaas (whispers) of the Shaytaan may make it worse, with the aim of disrupting the stability of Muslim families. 

So look at the matter with a little wisdom, especially the matter of his intention, which you cannot really know. Ask Allaah to show you the truth of the matter, and pray istikhaarah with regard to either staying with him or asking for separation. Think about your situation if you get divorced and what the consequences of that would be, then decide whether it is better for you to leave him or to stay and put up with it.  If you cannot bear it because of the things you have mentioned, then you have the right to ask for separation. 

And Allaah knows best.

Can a man prevent his wife from observing i’tikaaf?

Does a husband have the right to prevent his wife from observing i’tikaaf?.

Praise be to Allaah.  

It is not permissible for a woman to observe i’tikaaf without her husband’s permission, because her observing i’tikaaf in the mosque affects the husband’s rights. 

If he does give her permission, he has the right to cancel it and call her out of i’tikaaf. 

Ibn Qudaamah (4/485) said: 

The wife does not have the right to observe i’tikaaf without her husband’s permission… if her husband gives her permission, then he wants her to come out after she has started i’tikaaf, he has the right to call her out in the case of a voluntary i’tikaaf. This is the view of al-Shaafa’i… If what he gave permission for was something that she vowed to do, then he does not have the right to bring her out, because it becomes obligatory once it is started and must be completed, like Hajj once one has entered ihraam for it. 

The Sunnah indicates that it is permissible for a man to prevent his wife from observing i’tikaaf without his permission. 

Al-Bukhaari (2033) and Muslim (1173) narrated that ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: When the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) wanted to observe i’tikaaf, he would pray Fajr then enter his place of i’tikaaf. He ordered that his tent be pitched, intending to observe i’tikaaf for the last ten days of Ramadaan. Then Zaynab ordered that her tent be pitched, and others among the wives of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) also ordered that their tents be pitched. When the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) prayed Fajr, he saw the tents and said: “Do you intend righteousness by doing this?” Then he commanded that his tent be taken down, and he abandoned i’tikaaf in Ramadaan and observed i’tikaaf for ten days at the beginning of Shawwaal. 

According to a report narrated by al-Bukhaari:  ‘Aa’ishah asked him for permission (to observe i’tikaaf) and he gave her permission, then Hafsah asked ‘Aa’ishah to ask for permission for her and she did so.  

Al-Nawawi said: 

“Righteousness” here means obedience or worship. Al-Qaadi said: He (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said this by way of rebuke. He (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) had given some of them permission to do that, as narrated by al-Bukhaari. The reason why he criticized that was that he feared that they would not be sincere in their i’tikaaf, and all they wanted was to be close to him because of their jealousy concerning him, or because of his protective jealousy towards them, so he did not want them to stay in the mosque when it was the place where people gathered and was attended by the Bedouins and hypocrites, and they would need to go out and come in to attend to their needs and thus they would be exposed to people’s gaze… Or it may have been because he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) saw them with him when he was in the mosque and it was as if he was at home with his wives, which was a distraction from the purpose of i’tikaaf, which is to keep away from one's wives and worldly concerns, etc. Or it may have been because they were crowding the mosque with their tents. This hadeeth indicates that women’s i’tikaaf is valid, because he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) gave them permission, and he only stopped them from doing it afterwards for a reason. And it indicates that a man may prevent his wife from observing i’tikaaf without his permission. This is the view of all the scholars. If he has given her permission, can he prevent her after that? There is a difference of opinion among the scholars on this point. According to al-Shaafa’i, Ahmad and Dawood he has the right to stop her and bring her out of a voluntary i’tikaaf. 

Ibn al-Mundhir and others said: This hadeeth indicates that a woman should not enter i’tikaaf until she has asked her husband’s permission, and that if she enters i’tikaaf without his permission he has the right to bring her out; if he has given permission he has the right to change his mind and stop her. It was narrated from ahl al-ra’y that if the husband gives her permission then stops her, he commits sin thereby and she may refuse. It was narrated from Maalik that he does not have the right to do that. But this hadeeth is proof against them. 

From Fath al-Baari..

Its the responsibility of every Moslem in learning quran and read tajweed and we also have to teach our kids Quran and not only the Quran teaching we should let then begin to see the basic of Islam and why it was reviled you bet it was vilified and truth teaching of holy Quran and with tajweed quran we read Quran we can understand better all the responses that are demanded if we study koran from a qualified Quran tutor he will let you know truth center of Islam and why koran was reviled for it we should gain the ability of the Book with there translation and the context of when those verses were reviled and why and that is only potential when we persist in with not simply learning quran for beginners but gaining the information of Quran tafseer and one query that we all is required to ask our self that why we all are here in the world to do good acts or to do bad acts to promote correct or to promote incorrect and will we be answerable to any one after this life of not then the interrogation remains the identical that reasons why we are here in the world but if yes then whom we have to reply is there any Almighty All these reply exist when we go deep in to the Quran education do Quran reading and the so let us unite hands to full fill our task. We all must do quran memorization and listen to quran online when ever we have time to stay in touch

 

 

Obedience is only with regard to that which is right and proper

If a man threatens to divorce his wife unless she does some prohibited deed, what should she do?.

Praise be to Allaah.

We should note that there is no obedience to any created being if it involves disobedience to the Creator, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Obedience is only with regard to that which is right and proper.” Haraam actions do not come under the heading of that which is right and proper, rather this is an evil deed, so if the husband threatens his wife and says that he will divorce her if she does not do it, she should try to explain to him and warn him that this is haraam and is not permitted, and she should explain the evidence for that. The questioner does not explain what the haraam deed is and to what degree it is forbidden. She should tell us what it is so that we can answer more clearly. But the basic principle is that she should not do it and that there is no obedience to any created being if it involves disobedience towards the Creator. 

This woman should refuse to do the haraam action, because obedience to Allaah takes precedence over obedience to her husband. She should strive and seek reward, and turn to Allaah and pray to Him and beseech Him to guide her husband away from such deeds. For du’aa’ is a mighty weapon, and Allaah will not turn away one who asks of Him. 

Moreover, she can buy him some books or tapes, and seek the help – after Allaah – of one of her relatives or one of the seekers of knowledge in her city, or the imam of a mosque, etc, to advise her husband and remind him of Allaah, and encourage him by telling him that whoever gives up something for the sake of Allaah, Allaah will compensate him with something better. 

Its the responsibility of every Moslem in learning quran and tajweed and we also must teach our kids Quran and not only the Quran teaching we should let then be aware of the basic of Islam and why it was reviled you bet it was railed and truth teaching of holy Quran and with tajweed quran we read Quran we can understand better all the responses that are called for if we study koran from a qualified Quran tutor he will let you know verity heart of Islam and why koran was reviled for it we should gain the information of the Holy Writ with there translation and the context of when those verses were reviled and why and that is only potential when we keep on with not simply learning quran for beginners but gaining the ability of Quran tafseer and one enquiry that we all is needed to ask our self that why we all are here in the world to do good acts or to do bad human activity to promote correct or to promote incorrect and will we be answerable to any one after this life of not then the inquiry remains the exact that reasons why we are here in the world but if yes then whom we have to respond is there any God Almighty All these response exist when we go deep in to the Quran education do Quran reading and the so let us connect hands to full fill our task. We all must do quran memorization and listen to quran online when ever we have time to stay in touch

Husband’s parents preventing the wife from visiting her own family

Do the inlaws have the right to not send their daughter-in-law to her parents so that she can spend her time with her parents & all & can relax for some time in her parent's home.

Praise be to Allaah.  

What the wife is obliged to do is to obey her husband; he is the one whom she is obliged to obey. If the husband agrees that she may visit her family, it does not matter if his parents do not approve. 

But a woman should strive to please her husband’s parents and treat them in a manner that is better, and not confront them. This will have a great effect on giving stability to her life with her husband. 

You should understand that your husband’s parents may make things difficult for you because they think that you have taken away the one who is most dear to them. So you should handle this matter wisely and not be the cause of arguments or division between your husband and his parents. Rather you should try to help your husband obey and honour his parents, and you will find the effects of that, in sha Allah, in your own children [i.e., they will honour you in turn]. 

You have to treat them kindly, because kindness is never to be found in a thing but it beautifies it, and it is never lacking in a thing but it makes it ugly. If you see that they are treating you badly, then remember the words of Allaah (interpretation of the meaning): 

“Repel (the evil) with one which is better (i.e. Allaah orders the faithful believers to be patient at the time of anger, and to excuse those who treat them badly) then verily he, between whom and you there was enmity, (will become) as though he was a close friend”

[Fussilat 41:34] 

For more information see al-Mughni, 7/225 

And Allaah knows best.

Ruling on a Woman Asking for a Divorce from Her Husband

If a couple differs in their Islamic perceptions. One who grow up in the West and the other in the East. And they quarrel constantly and can't come to an agreement. At what point is talaq considered? Is it wrong for a sister to ask for talaq? Will she be punished on the Day of Judgment? Does the Arsh of Ar-Rahman shake once talaq is asked for? This is what one sister, growing up the West is being told by her husband from the East.
Jazak Allah khayr for your response.

All Praises are Due to Allah

The divorce of a Muslimah from her husband is an affair which is loathsome to Allah and not a praise worthy event. This is due to the problems and possible evils. However, if there is a situation in the marriage life taking place between the man and the women, due to a defect or defects in one or both of them, such problems of deen, bad character, sickness, or a defect such as being sterile or similar. Then out of the mercy of Allah, seeking divorce is permissible. In this case, it is okay and there is nothing prohibited in seeking a divorce.

The thing which is prohibited is a wife seeking a divorce from her husband for no reason of the shariah. There is serious promise made for seeking a divorce without a valid reason. It is reported in the hadith of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), "If a women asks her husband for a divorce, for no reason, then the smell of paradise is forbidden for her". (At-Tirmidhi narrated it. He said this is a hasan hadith. Sunnah At-Tirmidhi #1187.)

The hadith "marry and do not divorce for verily divorce causes the arsha (throne of Allah) to shake" is also forged and da'eef. (Al Jami As- Sagheer #2429)

Allah knows best.

Giving talaaq (divorce) three times at once is bid’ah

Could you please let me know according to the Shafi mishep, if a man can give his wife Talaaq tree(3) times at once.

Praise be to Allaah.

Giving talaaq (divorce) three times at once is bid’ah, and goes against the aayah (interpretation of the meaning): “… When you divorce women, divorce them at their ‘iddah (prescribed periods)…” [al-Talaaq 65:1]. If a Muslim wants to divorce his wife, he should divorce her according to the Sunnah, which is to give one talaaq at a time when his wife is taahir (not menstruating) and he has not yet had intercourse with her following her period, or when it is clear that she is pregnant. According to the Shaafi’i madhhab and the majority of other madhhabs, giving three talaaqs at once counts as three separate talaaqs and is irrevocable, and the couple cannot remarry until the woman has been married to and divorced from another man. Other scholars say that three talaaqs given at once count as only one talaaq.

And Allaah knows best.

A man doesn’t want to live with his wife but doesn’t want to divorce her for the sake of the children

A man has in the past had some major problem with his wife. Neither she, nor he want divorce as they have 3 children, yet he cannot live with her and has left the country. He would like to remarry in the new country of residence, but is afraid of the condition of equity of time between the two wives and that he will be called to account for it before Allah. His wife will not willingly relinquish her rights as she wants him to return to her, nor will she accept a second marriage... Is it halal for him to tell her that he will retain her as a wife only under the condition that she relinquish her rights to his time to a second wife? He does not want to oppress himself nor does he want to oppress her.. what are his options?

Praise be to Allaah.

If he has no interest in his present wife, there is nothing wrong with divorcing her and marrying another, but if he and she come to an agreement whereby she may remain his wife for the sake of the children, there is nothing wrong with this either. If he gives her the choice between divorce and giving up her rights to his time and his spending on her, in whole or in part, this is not oppression. Oppression is when he keeps her by force without giving her any of her rights whilst at the same time refusing to give her a divorce.

The evidence (daleel) that the situation described above is permissible is to be found in the hadeeth narrated by Imaam al-Bukhaari from ‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her), which comments on the aayah (interpretation of the meaning): “And if a woman fears cruelty or desertion on her husband’s part…” [al-Nisaa’ 4:128]. She said: “This was a woman who was married to a man who did not care for her, so he wanted to divorce her and marry someone else. (According to another report narrated by al-Bukhaari she said: He was a man who saw something he disliked in his wife, so he wanted to divorce her.) She said to him: ‘Keep me, do not divorce me. Marry someone else and I will absolve you of your obligation to spend on me and share your time with me.’ This is what Allaah referred to when He revealed the aayah (interpretation of the meaning): ‘… there is no sin on them both if they make terms of peace between themselves; and making peace is better…’ [al-Nisaa’ 4:128].” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 4807)

“This was a woman who was married to a man who did not care for her” means that he did not love her or want to treat her well or stay with her. “I will absolve you of your obligation towards me” means: leave me without divorcing me. Concerning this issue, Allaah revealed the words (interpretation of the meaning): “And if a woman fears cruelty or desertion on her husband’s part…” [al-Nisaa’ 4:128]. ‘Ali reported that this was revealed concerning a woman who is married to a man and does not want to leave him, so they come to an agreement that he will visit her every three or four days.”

Al-Tirmidhi reported via Sammaak from ‘Ikrimah from Ibn ‘Abbaas that he said: “Sawdah was afraid that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) would divorce her, so she said: ‘O Messenger of Allaah, do not divorce me; give my day to ‘Aa’ishah.’ So he did so. Then this aayah was revealed.” Al-Tirmidhi said: “(This is) hasan ghareeb.” I say: there is corroborating evidence in a hadeeth from ‘Aa’ishah narrated by al-Bukhaari and Muslim, without referring to the revelation of the aayah. (From Fath al-Baari).

The hadeeth mentioned by al-Haafiz ibn Hijr (may Allaah have mercy on him) is in Sunan al-Tirmidhi, 2966, where it is reported that Ibn ‘Abbaas said: “Sawdah was afraid that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) would divorce her, so she said: ‘Do not divorce me. Keep me and give my day to ‘Aa’ishah.’ So he did so, then Allaah revealed the aayah: ‘… there is no sin on them both if they make terms of peace between themselves; and making peace is better…’ [al-Nisaa’ 4:128]. So whatever they agreed upon was permissible.” It is as if the last sentence was the comment of Ibn ‘Abbaas. Abu ‘Iesa said: this is a hasan ghareeb hadeeth.

Al-Mubaarakpoori said, commenting on this hadeeth:

‘Sawdah was afraid…’ This refers to Sawdah bint Zam’ah ibn Qays al-Qurashiyyah al-‘Aamiriyyah. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) married her in Makkah after Khadeejah had died, and consummated the marriage there. The scholars agree that he consummated his marriage to her before he consummated his marriage to ‘Aa’ishah, and she migrated to Madeenah with him. She died at the end of the khilaafah of ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab.

‘…was afraid that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) would divorce her, so she said…’ Al-Bukhaari and Muslim reported from ‘Aa’ishah that Sawdah bint Zam’ah gave her day to ‘Aa’ishah, so the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to give ‘Aa’ishah her own day and that of Sawdah. Al-Haafiz said in al-Fath: Abu Dawood reported this hadeeth (from ‘Aa’ishah): ‘The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) never used to prefer any of us over others in sharing his time (i.e., he was fair in dividing his nights among his wives, and each one of them had her allotted night). When Sawdah bint Zam’ah grew old and feared that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) might divorce her, she said: ‘O Messenger of Allaah, my day is for ‘Aa’ishah,’ and he accepted this from her. Then concerning this and similar cases, the aayah was revealed (interpretation of the meaning): ‘And if a woman fears cruelty or desertion on her husband’s part…’ [al-Nisaa’ 4:128]. These reports agree that she feared divorce and so gave her day to ‘Aa’ishah.

Then al-‘Allaamah al-Mubaraakpoori said: The aayah may be explained thus: ‘If a woman fears’ means if she expects. ‘Cruelty’ means that he spurns her by refusing to sleep with her or by spending less on her than he should, because he dislikes her and wants to marry someone more beautiful. ‘Desertion’ means that he turns his face away from her. ‘There is no sin on them both if they make terms of peace between themselves’ means with regard to the sharing of his time and his spending on her, i.e., he should still give her something in this regard (sharing time or spending) in order to preserve the relationship: if she accepts, this is OK, otherwise the husband must either give her her full rights or divorce her. ‘Making peace is better’ means better than separation, cruelty and desertion. Whatever they agree upon between themselves is permissible.

(Tuhfat al-Ahwadi Sharh Jaami’ al-Tirmidhi).

And Allaah knows best, May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad.

Do I have to obey my father in choosing a husband, and how can I make him more even-tempered?

I have a question about marriage, my father believes that being Bengali, he's daughters should only get married to a Bengali man, the thing is, my dad likes to be a pillar of society and likes to have control over everything we do, Can you give me proof that it is ok for the daughters to choose who they get married to, despite whether they are Pakistani, Indian or Bengali, as long as he is good in terms of religion and suitability, my father believes that girl's haven't got the right to choos who they get married to, only he does, but I think the people he chooses are only chosen for the fact that they will give him a good name and because he they are Bengali. Is it possible for the girl to make her own choice in terms of who she gets married to if she finds a suitabaly compatible, religious and good man of a different nationality with similar status and wealth, even if her dad doesn't like him because of his nationality?
Also my father is very controlling, picking and choosing what he wishes to believe in terms of religion, he likes to show off his wealth and power and build his name, can you give me any supplications which will help to make him a more mild mannered and diplomatic man? I would be very grateful if you could help me in this matter.

Praise be to Allaah.  

Firstly: 

The presence of the wali (guardian) is one of the conditions of marriage, and a woman’s marriage is not valid unless this condition is met. This is the correct view and is the view of the majority of scholars. See question no. 2127. 

The person who has the most right to be a woman’s guardian is her father, but if it is proven that he is not qualified for this role then it moves to the next closest relative, such as her grandfather for example. 

For more information on this issue, with evidence, please see question no. 7193 and 31119. 

Secondly: 

With regard to the conditions and qualities that should be present in the husband, the most important of these is religious commitment. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If there comes to you one with whose religious commitment and character you are pleased, then marry [your daughter or female relative under your care] to him, for if you do not do that there will be fitnah (tribulation) on earth and much corruption.”  Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (1005) and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi, 1084. 

See also question no. 6942 and 5202. 

Thirdly: 

One of the shar’i conditions of marriage is the consent of the wife, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “A previously-married woman should not be married without consulting her and a virgin should not be married without asking her permission.” They said, “O Messenger of Allaah, how does she give her permission?” He said, “If she remains silent.”  Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4741; Muslim, 2543. 

No one has the right to force a girl to marry anyone, but at the same time she does not have the right to get married without her guardian’s permission. 

The presence of the guardian is an important condition for a marriage to be valid, but a girl should not be forced into marrying someone who she does not want to marry, and she is not regarded as disobeying her parents in this case. Shaykh al-Islam [Ibn Taymiyah] said: “The parents do not have the right to force their son to marry someone whom he does not want, and if he refuses he is not being disobedient, like eating something that he does not want.” Al-Ikhtiyaaraat, p. 344 

Fourthly: 

With regard to your father and the way he is, we offer the following advice: 

(i)                Make du’aa’ for him in his absence. There is no specific du’aa’, so pray to Allaah to reform him and open his heart.

(ii)              Seek the help of some of your father’s friends or relatives whom you trust to try to change him.

(iii)            Give him some books or tapes in your language that will encourage him to have a good attitude and warn him against the opposite, and give them as a gift using a good approach when you do so. Allaah may make this a cause of his reforming. 

We ask Allaah to help you to do that which He loves and which pleases Him. 

And Allaah knows best.

Conditions of walee (guardian)

What exactly constitutes a guardian, as is needed in the nikkah ceremony. I am a female Muslim, and I want to know if my older brother is acceptable for this role.

Praise be to Allaah.

There are three pillars or conditions for the marriage contract in Islam:

Both parties should be free of any obstacles that might prevent the marriage from being valid, such as their being mahrams of one another (i.e., close relatives who are permanently forbidden to marry), whether this relationship is through blood ties or through breastfeeding (radaa’) etc., or where the man is a kaafir (non-Muslim) and the woman is a Muslim, and so on.

There should be an offer or proposal (eejaab) from the walee or the person who is acting in his place, who should say to the groom “I marry so-and-so to you” or similar words.

There should be an expression of acceptance (qabool) on the part of the groom or whoever is acting in his place, who should say, “I accept,” or similar words.

The conditions of a proper nikaah (marriage contract) are as follows:

Both the bride and groom should be clearly identified, whether by stating their names or describing them, etc.

Both the bride and groom should be pleased with one another, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No previously-married woman (widow or divorcee) may be married until she has been asked about her wishes (i.e., she should state clearly her wishes), and no virgin should be married until her permission has been asked (i.e., until she has agreed either in words or by remaining silent).” They asked, “O Messenger of Allaah, how is her permission given (because she will feel very shy)?” He said: “By her silence.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 4741)

The one who does the contract on the woman’s behalf should be her walee, as Allaah addressed the walees with regard to marriage (interpretation of the meaning): “And marry those among you who are single…” [al-Noor 24:32] and because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Any woman who marries without the permission of her walee, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid.” (Reported by al-Tirmidhi, 1021 and others; it is a saheeh hadeeth)

The marriage contract must be witnessed, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no marriage contract except with a walee and two witnesses.” (Reported by al-Tabaraani; see also Saheeh al-Jaami’, 7558)

It is also important that the marriage be announced, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Announce marriages.” (Reported by Imaam Ahmad; classed as hasan in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 1027)

The conditions of the walee are as follows:

He should be of sound mind

He should be an adult

He should be free (not a slave)

He should be of the same religion as the bride. A kaafir cannot be the walee of a Muslim, male or female, and a Muslim cannot be the walee of a kaafir, male or female, but a kaafir can be the walee of a kaafir woman for marriage purposes, even if they are of different religions. An apostate (one who has left Islam) cannot be a walee for anybody.

He should be of good character (‘adaalah – includes piety, attitude, conduct, etc.), as opposed to being corrupt. This is a condition laid down by some scholars, although some of them regard the outward appearance of good character as being sufficient, and some say that it is enough if he is judged as being able to pay proper attention to the interests of the woman for whom he is acting as walee in the matter of her marriage.

He should be male, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No woman may conduct the marriage contract of another woman, and no woman can conduct the marriage contract on behalf of her own self, because the zaaniyah (fornicatress, adulteress) is the one who arranges things on her own behalf.” (Reported by Ibn Maajah, 1782; see also Saheeh al-Jaami’, 7298)

He should be wise and mature (rushd), which means being able to understand matters of compatibility and the interests of marriage.

The fuqahaa’ put possible walees in a certain order, and a walee who is more closely-related should not be ignored unless there is no such person or the relatives do not meet the specified conditions. A woman’s walee is her father, then whoever her father may have appointed before his death, then her paternal grandfather or great-grandfather, then her son, then her grandfathers sons or grandsons, then her brother through both parents (full brother), then her brother through her father, then the sons of her brother through both parents, then the sons of her brother through her father, then her uncle (her father’s brother through both parents), then her father’s brother through the father, then the sons of her father’s brother though both parents, then the sons of her father’s brother through the father, then whoever is more closely related, and so on – as is the case with inheritance. The Muslim leader (or his deputy, such as a qaadi or judge) is the walee for any woman who does not have a walee of her own.

And Allaah knows best.

A person who does not believe in the Sunnah forfeits the right of guardianship

Can deviant Muslims be the wali (for marriage) of their daughters if she is a Muslim with correct aqeedah?  For example, can a Muslim person who does not accept that hadith (Sunnah) need to be followed be the wali of a person who accepts Islaam (Qur'an and Sunnah)?

Praise be to Allaah. 

The scholars (may Allaah have mercy on them) mentioned the conditions for being a woman’s wali (guardian) for marriage. Some of these conditions are agreed upon, and others are disputed. The conditions that are agreed upon are:  

1.     Islam

Ibn Quddamah said: The kaafir cannot be the wali of a Muslim woman, according to the consensus of the scholars.

A similar view was also narrated from Ibn al-Mundhir. (al-Mughni, 7/356) 

2.     Being of sound mind. 

3.     Majority (having reached puberty)  

4.     Being male.

Ibn Rushd said: (The scholars) agreed that among the conditions of guardianship are: being Muslim, being an adult and being male.

Bidaayat al-Mujtahid, 2/12

Ibn Qudaamah said: Being male is a condition of guardianship according to all (the scholars). (al-Mughni, 7/356) 

The conditions concerning which the scholars disputed are:  

1.     Being free

The condition of being free is listed by most of the scholars; the Hanafis were of a different view.

The basis of describing freedom as a condition is that a slave has no power of guardianship over himself, so it is more likely that he cannot have the power of guardianship over anyone else.

(See the two references mentioned above)   

2.     Being of good character

Imaam al-Shaafa'i and Imaam Ahmad were of the view that this is one of the conditions of guardianship.

What is meant by good character is appearing to be of good character. It is not necessary for the wali to be of good character both outwardly and inwardly. Such a requirement would be too difficult and would lead to most marriages being invalid. (Khashshaaf al-Qinaa’, 3/30)  

It is important to note that the questioner may want to marry the woman, then if he discusses some issues with her guardian and they have an argument, he might accuse him of not believing in referring to the Qur’aan and Sunnah. This would be overstepping the mark and a major sin, because it is accusing a Muslim of something that would put him beyond the pale of Islam. 

But if the wife’s guardian really does not believe in the Sunnah, like that group which calls itself al-Qur’aaniyyeen, then he should argue with him, explain the truth to him, dispel his confusion and establish proof against him. Then if he persists he is a kaafir, and it is not permissible for him to be the guardian of a Muslim woman for marriage even if she is his daughter. He forfeits the right of guardianship, which then passes to the closest Muslim relative of the woman. And Allah knows best.

i wanna marry a non muslim woman just for papers, without really practicing sex should i do sex with her even if i just want to take the papers?is it possible to marry her for that purpose?

Praise be to Allaah.

We put this question to Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen, may Allaah preserve him, who answered as follows:

If she is one of those whom it is permissible to marry, then there is nothing wrong with that, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “A woman may be married for four things” and he mentioned wealth as one of them… and this is akin to that. If he marries her in order to obtain the settlement visa, he should not have the intention of divorcing her as soon as he gets his settlement. And Allaah knows best.

Who are the women of the People of the Book whom Muslims are permitted to marry?

Thanks for answering my question. I want to know what you mean with marrying a Jew or christian who should had chastity? Does touching and kissing forbidden before marriage occurs? I have read in your anwers that you tell muslim that the woman should be chaste. Is this only with jew or christian girl or also, muslim woman? Does touching and kisssing are included when you refer to chastidy? What should be the advice given to a muslim boy that thinks touching is necessary before marriage?
I appreciate this to be confidencial. Thanks so much for helping me.

Praise be to Allaah.

Abu Ja’far Muhammad ibn Jareer al-Tabari gave a definition of muhsanah in Jaami’ al-Bayaan ‘an Ta’weel Aayi’l-Qur’aan (8/165):

“Muhsanah means the woman who is chaste and pure … one who is chaste and protects her private parts from committing immoral acts, as in the aayah (interpretation of the meaning): ‘And Maryam, the daughter of ‘Imraan, who guarded her chastity…’ [al-Tahreem 66:12], meaning that she kept herself above suspicious actions and protected herself from immoral conduct.”

Then he discussed the interpretation of the aayah (interpretation of the meaning): ‘… (lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women from the believers and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time…’ [al-Maa’idah 5:5]

He said that some others said that what was meant by this aayah (‘… (lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women from the believers and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time…’) is chaste women from both groups, whether they were slaves or free. Those who were of this opinion considered it permissible to marry slave women who were Jews or Christians who practised their religions, because of this aayah, but they considered it haraam to marry promiscuous women, whether they were Muslims or from the People of the Book. Then he mentioned reports to support this opinion.

He also said: ‘There was some dispute among the scholars about the interpretation of the phrase and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time…- was this general or specific in application? Some said that it is general and applies to all chaste women, because muhsanaat means chaste women, and a Muslim is allowed to marry any woman of the People of the Book, free or slave, from a country whose people are engaged in hostilities with Islam or from a community which is living under Islamic rule. They use as evidence for this the apparent meaning of the phrase and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time… - taking muhsanaat to mean any chaste woman, whoever she may be. This is the opinion of those who take muhsanaat to mean “chaste women” in this context.

Others say that it refers only to the women of Jewish and Christian communities who are living under Islamic rule. As regards those living in regions that are hostile to Islam, Muslims are not permitted to marry such women.

He mentions an important condition for marrying a woman of the People of the Book, which every Muslim who wants to marry such a woman in a non-Muslim country should pay attention to. This condition is that he should be in a position where he is not afraid that his child will be forced into kufr.

One of the obvious implications of this in our time is that a Muslim should not put himself in a position where he will be forced to raise his child as a kaafir in a non-Muslim country, where a child may be forced to study something about Christianity, for example, or he may be taken to church on Sundays, or the law may be on the side of the non-Muslim woman, allowing her to take her child wherever she wants and raise him in her family’s religion, etc. We ask Allaah to keep us safe from all that and we seek refuge with Him from being forsaken.

Shaykh al-Sa’di said in his Tafseer (commentary on the Qur’aan), 1/458:

“‘… (lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women – i.e., free and chaste - from the believers and chaste women –free and chaste - from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time…’ i.e., from among the Jews and Christians. This is adding specific details to the aayah (interpretation of the meaning): ‘And do not marry al-mushrikaat (idolatresses, etc.) till they believe (worship Allaah alone)…’ [al-Baqarah 2:221].”

As for promiscuous women, those who do not keep themselves chaste and free from immoral sexual conduct, it is not permitted to marry them, whether they are Muslims or from among the People of the Book (Jews and Christians), unless they repent, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Let no man guilty of fornication or adultery marry any but a woman similarly guilty, or an unbeliever: nor let any but such a man or an unbeliever marry such a woman: to the Believers such a thing is forbidden.” [al-Noor 24:3]

And Allaah knows best.